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Do you feel like you have too much on your plate? I get it, I also have a lot going on - between working full time, building my Coaching business, taking care of two young kids, and so on, I've had to reevaluate my priorities, take some things off my plate, and seek support for some things.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, I have a hack for you to try. It involves looking at everything you've got on your to-do list, and make sure you have a reason why you choose to do those tasks.
Here are the steps:
Write down a list of all the things you have to do during the day. It can be anything - driving your kids to school, listening to podcasts, making dinner, cleaning the house, etc.
Scratch out "have to" and replace it with "choose to."
Next to each item, write out WHY you choose to do that thing during the day.
Reflect on your reasons. If you don't have a good reason to do that thing, maybe it's time to take it off your plate. Or delegate.
BONUS: learn how to say NO! and establish & enforce boundaries.
I want you to really look at that WHY. is it societal expectations? Pressure from other people?
If the word WHY doesn't resonate with you, you can also ask yourself "how does this task contribute to my life's vision or identity" or "who do I become when I do this task?" In other words, does this task serve you and move you closer to your goals?
For example, do you feel as though you have to drive your kids to school because if you don't, you feel like you're a bad mom because of societal expectations placed upon you? If your kids take the bus, are you any less of a mom? Absolutely not!
Comparison? No thank you!
Don't compare yourself to other people because you truly don't know what is going on behind closed doors. Everyone is different - different energy levels & support systems, varying demanding jobs, number of kids, access to community supports, and the list goes on. You are doing your best with what you've got, and if that means taking things off your plate that's okay!
Everyone else hates delegating too.
That brings me to the next step, which is delegating. I know, you probably hate delegating too. But trust me, it's worth it to let go. It's important to be honest with yourself about what you can realistically handle. Let's stop trying to control everything and accept that there are different ways of doing things.
Here are some tips to help ease the pain of delegating:
Find someone that gets you
Someone that you trust, understands your struggles, and shows empathy towards your situation won't judge. In fact, they'd probably be happy that you reached out for help. It's also beneficial to tap into their creativity for completing some tasks. Everyone has their unique strengths, so play those up.
Start small
Let's start with something like driving the kids to school or responding to a few e-mails. Think about tasks that are not very time consuming and occur only occasionally. This also helps those overcome a fear of delegating.
Focus on the outcome
Explaining the end result, without focusing on how a person would go about getting there, can often lead to better results, both from your perspective as the delegator, as it helps let go, as well as for the delegate because it allows them to be creative and know the vision for the task.
Work smarter, not harder
There are plenty of apps, websites, and online tools that can help with delegating. Things like household grocery list apps, shared documents (Google docs, for example), communication channels (slack, for example), shared to-do lists, and the list goes on. Using technology can help save time, collaborate, and allow updates in real time. When you finally get more time to yourself, there are other apps that can help you enjoy your newfound freedom like Insight Timer (a personal fave!), calm, or headspace.
Let go of perfectionism
You're not the only person who can do these things. You may think you have high self-esteem and want to be perceived as the superhero that does it all, but at what cost? It's not worth it.
You deserve to have time for yourself to do things you enjoy, for pleasure and for self-care. Society expects so much from people, especially us moms, but we need to take care of ourselves and feel less overwhelmed. If it's been a while since you've asked for help or said no, don't be afraid to start now. What's the alternative? Stress, exhaustion, tiredness, and overwhelm. No thank you!
Hi, I'm Samantha, an Inclusive Leadership Coach that is eager to support you with breaking free & living a limitless authentic life after being pushed aside in society. Think of it as solution focused Coaching with a social justice twist. Whatever you want to work on, leadership or otherwise, you'll transform your life and experience shifts you never thought possible.
As a leadership junkie, I want to see an increase the number of equity deserving folks - women, BIPOC, disabled and LGBTQ+ folks - in leadership roles. I want to create the most diverse and equitable workforce where everyone can bring their full selves to work.
Download your Leadership Self-Assessment here.
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